Ring, Ring, Go Away

I have a phone, a landline, that rings every five minutes.

It rings because it's almost February 5th. John Edwards wants my vote. Hillary Clinton wants my vote. Some damn Republican wants my vote.

It rings because charitable organizations want more. It rings because the San Francisco Symphony can't do it all by itself. It rings because some friends haven't gotten the message.

The message is: I don't answer this phone.

This is the greatest invention since, well, maybe not sliced bread, but pretty darn close. I answer my cell phone. Friends know that's my number. Contractors know my cell phone number.

Problems occur when I give out the phone number to someone I really want to hear from, like StubHub when I'm buying spring training tickets. Turns out there was a problem in that the guy selling me the tickets never replied to his email, and they had to cancel the order. But, hey, I listen to the voicemail every day and pick up such messages.

I don't hear the phone when I'm asleep because I have it on low and soft. Some have suggested that I get rid of the ring entirely, but I kind of like to know when the robots are calling. And I'd have to get a new phone to mute the ring. Why bother.

I like this system. Why didn't I think of it sooner?