I Wouldn't Vote for That Sonovagun, and Other Bon Mots

I was a bit tired as I got up this morning, but I had a special job to do today, and I was nervous about it. But I had a quiet morning with the Sunday paper and a malforming computer to soothe my nerves, or at least misdirect them.

I got to McAfee Coliseum early so that I could pick up my ticket for the game. I was surprised that there was only one Will Call window open, and so were the other 20 in my line. We were there so long that the woman in front of me applied mascara to her eyes. Of course, I twittered that.

I used the port-a-potty, sat in my car to waste some time, and then headed up the BART ramp to meet Ken and the other volunteers. I figured I'd know them by their clipboards.

Sure enough, I had been waiting 5 minutes when Ken and a couple of others showed up. He explained how to fill out the registration forms, what qualifies for voter registration, things like that. 13 people signed up, but only 4 of us showed up. Another showed up later, and I saw her at Gate C as she was circling around.

Ken slapped an Obama sticker on me, gave me some more to give to people, and Laurie and I started out together. I decided that, in concert with what Ken was saying, we could split up to cover more territory. Looking back, I probably should have stayed with her. It was a lonely job.

My patter was:

"Voter registration forms! Vote in November!"

Within the first 10 minutes some guy yelled, "Not for that asshole!" About 10 minutes later, as I moved down the line, another older man stated firmly, "What a jerk!" Obviously they were reacting to my Obama sticker.

One woman stopped briefly to talk and said in a hollow voice, "I don't think it'll be any good. The Republicans will pull something out." I replied that we have to get all the young people registered. We can turn it around. "I hope so," she said sadly, still without much hope.

I gave out the Obama stickers to kids and some adults, only after they heard the word "Free!"

A's and Marlins fans were rushing into the Coliseum, hoping to be one of the first 10,000 to get a Vida Blue jersey. So it was hard to stop them, talk with them, anything.

However, an hour into the exercise, a young man (maybe 30?) ran up to me and said, "I need to register. I moved." So he filled out the form in record time. I had my first one!

It was the only one I got. I added to my patter:

"Voter registration! Change your address? Change your name? 18 years old? Register here! Vote in November!" I thought it was pretty good. But after an hour-and-a-half, I was losing my voice.

I gave out several forms, though, for people on the fly or who wanted to give them to friends. And one other guy came up to me and asked, "How do I volunteer for this?" so I took his name and email address to give to Ken.

I remember that my mother used to register voters at a little card table in front of the local Safeway. She used to promise to throw the forms with "Democrat" on them in the trash can after the people had left.

I thought of my mother as I prepared to give my one voter registration form to Ken. I glanced at it, and at the bottom of the form was: Republican. Shit.